Dropping In

Searching for a title for this note, I wanted a more accurate name to replace homo sapiens. Of course, sapiens means wise. Wisdom is second nature for our species. Our first nature is to ignore or suppress inconvenient information to secure an advantage now even risking trouble later. At least one neurologist has spoken of an epidemic of stupidity, meaning that when reason contradicts intuition, we tend to trust our gut rather than our wit. We are sometimes homo stupidus. Since that sounds a bit quarrelsome, let's settle for homo insapiens (unwise).

What follows is the fable of Flavius Insapiens and the Gulls; apologies to the gods of Rome who never took part in this story. Any resemblance to gods living or dead is purely coincidental.

Flavius, yellow, as we say in English, was the colour of this young man's hair. Flavius Insapiens was a blond youth who was often unwise and therefore often in trouble, which the girls found interesting. Since I was once a blond youth who was often in trouble, I can tell you that the part about the girls is pure fiction. I know for a fact that only the most imaginative and wise girl can appreciate the potential of a dumb blond boy. And I found her first. She's mine. But this is only a fable, after all. 

Anyway, after some particularly unwise behaviour, Flavius found himself in court. The magistratus reasoned (without proof) that Flavius wouldn't cause much trouble if he were alone, so he was exiled to Gull Island, Insula Larum as they say in Rome. Flavius became a drop-out from civil society.

Gull Island was home to thousands of gulls who were well-fed on sardines (pisciculi). Since Flavius was the only hungry top-predator around, he found gull eggs easy pickings. He ate more than he needed and grew fat and lazy (pinguis et piger). But then the gull population began to decline. Flavius saw what was happening and knew why, but true to his nature he continued eating his fill until there were few gulls left and nothing much to eat but gramen, or grass as we say in Canada.

One day, the wind blew a small boat to the shore of the island. An exceptionally imaginative, wise and lovely girl named Minerva stepped out onto the shore and into the solitude of Flavius. She noted that he was blond, but wisely didn't blame him for that because it wasn't his fault. Besides, his diet of gramen had left him trim and handsome. All considered, she was pleased to have dropped in.

For his part, Flavius was glad of the company and invited Minerva to stay for dinner. Doing his best to be a good host, he hunted around until he found a nest, which supplied four nice eggs. After dinner they relaxed with a cup of gramen tea and enjoyed conversation. Being exceptionally alert as well as imaginative and wise, Minerva asked Flavius why there were so few gulls when seashores were typically crowded with nesting birds. He confessed that it was his habit to eat all the eggs he could find, which was likely a problem for the gulls. She wisely suggested that it would be good to take no more than one egg from a nest. Restraint would allow the gulls to flourish once again. 

Flavius did as she said, and as time passed the gulls flourished. So also did Flavius and Minerva. They lived happily ever after as the Sapiens family, dropping "in" from his surname in remembrance of the day she dropped in at Gull Island and encouraged him to be wise. Their children were named Harum Insapiens and Scarum Insapiens. They took after their father and would have to prove themselves before dropping "in" to be wise.

Harum and Scarum took the family myth seriously and went to work on the drop-in theme. They talked Dad into opening a drop-in hair salon where visitors to Gull Island could have their hair bleached. Before long, blond became the new IN. From then on, dropping IN meant switching to the new green or pink or bald or whatever looked new. Nobody wanted last season's IN hairstyle, and Flavius was ready to help them drop it...for a price.

The kids knew their Mum had the brains in the family and put some thought into making that pay. They advertised on the Rome omnibus: "Drop IN from MINERVA". Catchy. When you drop "in" from Minerva you get MERVA which they explained was an acronym for Maximizing Every Rational Value Asset, exactly Minerva's skill set. The gossip began to spread: "after a drop-in home visit from life-coach Minerva, your prospects begin to look amazing" (or mirabile, as they say). The kids arranged a few interviews at the forum, and her calendar was soon booked solid.

As for Harum and Scarum, after they dropped "in" and adopted the family name, they became the wisest marketing firm in the empire. 

Following the tradition of fable writers, I leave the moral of the story up to you. Drop in your thoughts below, from the gut or the neocortex, your choice.

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Daniel Kahneman: on the conflicted motives of homo economicus.

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